Tim Henman is pictured on the front of Perfect Ace 2, along with the tag-line "Tennis doesn't get any better than this!" We don't know whether he's talking about the game or his on-court prowess, but whichever, it's a blatant lie. A more honest cover image would be that infamous picture of the tennis woman scratching her bum, complete with the title "Perfect Arse 2".

Because, to put it mildly and up front, this tennis sim isn't very good. In fact, we've played more enjoyable games that have involved poking ourselves in the eye with a stick. So, where do we start? How about with the controls, a crucial element in any sports title and an area in which Perfect Ace 2 falls flat on its ace.

The one positive aspect is that the developer has kept the scheme simple, providing a basic power meter to serve with, and four shot buttons; normal, power, top-spin and slice. The power button also doubles as a lob if your opponent is at the net. Now this should make for an intuitive control system, but due to other factors, the end result is anything but.

Movement around the court just doesn't feel right, being rather sloppy and inaccurate. This makes it tricky to get the correct positioning to deal with a fast ball such as a big serve. Shot selection also seems largely a moot point, as whichever button you press, you generally get the same pedestrian return across the net.

Yes, you can execute a lob, or come forward and hit a volley, but beyond the basics there's no sense that you can truly direct your shot. It's just a case of trying to position your player as ably as you can, then hitting the button and hoping for the best. This all makes for an extremely unsatisfying gaming experience.

On the visual front, Perfect Ace 2 also struggles. The player animation is jerky at times and there's a sense that you're sliding around the court rather than running. The crowd graphics are worse still: they're constantly shading their eyes from the sun or applauding, which has the unfortunate side effect of making them look like they're having some sort of mass epileptic fit.

There are quality issues everywhere, from the poor commentary, which is blander than a tofu and mung-bean sandwich, through to the lacklustre presentation and clunky front-end menus. We couldn't even get our Microsoft Sidewinder joypad to work properly with the game.

At least there's a decent career mode, complete with customisable player statistics, but that doesn't count for much when the rest of the package is an unenjoyable mess. Now pass the stick please, we're going back to our more fulfilling, eyeball-poking game. Ow. Ow. Ow.

It's not perfect and it's not ace. The only justifiable part of the game's title is the "2", as it's undeniably a sequel. We've had more fun watching Tim Henman at Wimbledon, and that's saying something.