Racing around various European cities sounds like fun, doesn't it? Flooring it down narrow Parisian streets, roaring past all those pavement café tables and upsetting everyone trying to enjoy their morning cup of sludge (we refuse to call a thimble-full of syrupy Espresso a coffee).

As we darted between oncoming Citroëns on the approach to the Arc de Triomphe, it occurred to us that European Street Racing is a bit like Midtown Madness 3, which also focused on hair-raising traffic-dodging around Paris. Although European Street Racing lacks Midtown's cool missions. And finely balanced car handling. And pretty graphics. And meaty sound. Which might beg the question - has ESR got anything going for it?

No. Not really.

You want specifics? Okay; the game is crudely presented, from the clunky menus to the in-game graphics. To be fair, the environments are passable: the real fault lies with the car, which doesn't quite seem to be connected to the road beneath it, as if it's sliding along rather than driving along. This rather ruins any true sense of visual realism.

The real kicker, however, is the handling. The steering just doesn't feel right. The lower-end cars give you the impression you're driving a dodgem and the faster models seem over-sensitive. There's no sense of weight to the vehicle, and European Street Racing is quite simply one of the most unsatisfying video game driving experiences we've had in yonks.

That's covered the principal offenders, but there's plenty more to moan about. The courses are marked out by giant semi-transparent barriers which just look pants, and the in-game music comes straight from Hell (it's a fair assumption, we think, that all the nightclubs in Hell constantly play cheesy Euro dance music. And possibly The Birdie Song).

The career mode allows you to shop for different cars and upgrades, but it's fairly basic by nature, with only a small selection to pick from. The vehicle's set-up can be tweaked as well, but the process is rather mystifying to say the least, and seems to make little difference anyway.

Along with a ghost time attack mode there's also an online play option available, although the odds of finding a few masochists willing to indulge in some extra-curricular European Street Racing for any length of time are slim verging on anorexic.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. As cars go, this game's about as much fun as taking your saloon for an MOT at a badged dealer. (We're not bitter, Ford... Nissan... Renault...).